


i would know him in death (at the end of the world)

by thesurielofficial



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Rewrite, Civil War Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), like a lot of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:29:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24614545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesurielofficial/pseuds/thesurielofficial
Summary: The last thing they remember is the snap. And now, here they are, in a different realm. A faulty sacrifice and the infinity stone which rebelled have given the Avengers a second chance- have given Steve and Tony a second chance. Because when they were dusted, their ashes reformed in the Soul Stone Realm, and only they can find a way out- using a soul bond they didn't know even existed before this. Not to mention that this is the first time they've seen each other in years...(basically I flipped things. all the avengers who aren't dusted in IW get dusted in my fic)
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	i would know him in death (at the end of the world)

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, it's 2020 and I'm still writing Civil War fix-its smh. So, this began with two paragraphs based on a quote from the song of achilles. Then stuff happened and now it has plot and soulmates and angst. Whoops.
> 
> I'd like to thank my girlfriend for the support and beta work!! Ily!!
> 
> Also, I've taken a lot of liberties with this. I don't know anything about the Soul Stone Realm, all of this is my imagination.

_“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”  
― Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles_

Steve doesn’t see the snap. He’s lying in the dirt and he sees his best friend coming towards him. But he hears it. A clink of metal against metal, muted in the din of battle but it does not escape Steve’s ears. And then he feels himself disappearing, turning into dust like the ground below him. He thinks of rocks, then, of how they stand so strong under the sweltering sun even as they erode further day by day. The dust beneath him was once rock and stone. And now he shall join the earth, too. 

This is it, he thinks as he disappears completely. 

And then, he reforms.

* * *

There were many times when Tony had been on the verge of death, but none like this. He remembered the year when he almost died of palladium poisoning. Perhaps that had been a blessing for at least he had been in control. He would have died at home, after saying all his goodbyes and tidying up his life. There would have been a body to bury and a certainty of death. Rhodey and Pepper would have mourned and moved on, never having to convince themselves that he was truly gone, never looking for him because they believed he was alive, never trying to bring him back home, not knowing that they would only bring back a cold body. 

Instead, he had nearly died in outer space after flying a nuke through a wormhole. And now, he’s back in outer space and Thanos is on Earth and any time now, there will be a snap and some of them will die. 

“Mr. Stark? Sir, something’s happening.” The kid looks at him, eyes blown wide. He shouldn’t have been there, he was too young to see so much death. “Mr. Stark? Mr. Stark? Sir?”

But Tony cannot reply. He is floating, floating, floating, gone. 

But then he opens his eyes. 

Orange. 

A dull, muted orange.

* * *

Steve opens his eyes. The world shifts into focus. It hurts, a little, to see so much amber after all that darkness. Or perhaps it hadn’t even been dark for very long. But through the amber, he sees something else too, something he will never fail to recognise.

Eyes of smoky quartz, whiskey when the sun shines through them. But there is no sun here, just a steady, dull glow and Steve does not know where it comes from. But those eyes, he knows them.

“Tony,” he says, his voice surprisingly steady, a little deeper than usual as though he had just woken up.

“Rogers.” Not Cap, not Steve, just Rogers. Tony never really called him that. But then again, he never called him Steve either.

(Except sometimes he did, or at least he had. Steve remembered those moments, moments when Tony would smile at him and call him Steve and Steve would let himself think that he could have had that for longer.

In Siberia, Tony didn’t call him Steve. He didn’t really call him anything.)

Tony’s eyelashes are clumped together. He’s beautiful, he really is, even after everything he’s been through, everything Steve put him through. But his eyelashes are clumped together and that only happens when he cries.

(Tony doesn’t cry like most people do with tears streaming down their cheeks. He closes his eyes and his shoulders shake as he waits for the tears to stop flowing. They get caught up in his eyelashes and make his eyes appear red-rimmed. Steve remembers the few nights when Tony would wake up after nightmares and sob in his own quiet, restrictive way. Steve’s shirts would be slightly wet on the days that he found Tony and held him close, keeping those shoulders steady and leading him back to his bed. Those were the days and nights where he had fallen in love without ever realising it, before DC and before SHIELD and HYDRA, before everything had become so immensely complicated.)

They both stay silent. 

“Tony, I’m-” _sorry_ Steve nearly says. He’s said it once before, but never in person and not enough.

“I know you’re sorry,” Tony says with a sigh. “So am I. For what I did to Barnes, that is. I get it now, you don’t have to worry about me finding him if he’s here and trying to kill him or whatever.

Steve isn’t worried about that, he’s always known that Tony did what he did because of Steve, not Bucky. He’d had to see a man killing his mother and then face someone he trusted and find out that he was lied to. Even the best people would lash out in such a situation, and Tony was the best of the best, but he was only human. He doesn’t even need to apologise. The only person apologising should be Steve.

But he doesn’t say any of that.

“Where is here, anyway?” he asks instead.

“I’m not very sure. Aliens, I could have handled. I knew this would have happened. But this?” Tony waves his arms around, pointing to their orange landscape. “Fuck if I know what I’m supposed to do now.”

“Have you seen anyone else, yet?”

“I woke up here, next to you. I’ve seen nothing else of this shithole and I haven’t met anyone either. I woke up barely a few minutes before you did, anyway. I think. I’m not sure how time works here.” He frowns then, and Steve can almost see the gears of his brain turning.

Tony’s mind is a wonderful thing. Steve thinks of it in electric blue, taking in information like a computer and processing it so fast that he zones out for a second. But all this new information, full of unknown variables- even a genius would find it hard to process, especially one like Tony who would be bent on figuring the place out, even if it is one of those things that just isn’t meant to be understood.

“I guess we should figure out where we are. And if there’s anyone else here.” Tony doesn’t say anything but he holds his hand out. Steve takes it and they walk in silence.

“I hate you sometimes,” Tony suddenly says, his words flat as they pierce the silence. “You said that if we lose, we would do it together. But you weren’t there. We weren’t together. We were split up.” Steve doesn’t really know what to say, how to tell Tony how sorry he is, how to say that he wishes that he’d been there, how to tell Tony that in the end, he wouldn’t have minded dying if he’d been able to see Tony one last time. Steve doesn’t know how to tell Tony all the words he’d left unsaid for two years so he says nothing. “And I just- I just wish you’d trusted me with the Accords. You know we would have figured out a way to keep some of our freedom. We could have bargained and figured it out. We could have hidden Barnes and pretended as though he’d run away and gone off radar. We could have done _something_. It’s not like you didn’t disobey them the minute you had to. They weren’t that permanent anyway. We would have-” his voice cuts off, a little thick and full of emotion but a second later, he’s back again and they walk in silence.

“When you called, I picked up immediately because all I wanted to do was hear your voice after so long. Sometimes, I watch your interviews and your speeches just so I know that you’re okay. When I heard heavy breathing, I thought you were injured or sick or dying and I stopped breathing for a second until Bruce spoke. I know we’ve had our differences and I’ve made mistakes but I missed you, Tony. And I truly am sorry for not trusting you. I didn’t want to leave you, not after everything you’d done for me. After New York, in the Avengers Tower, it was the first time I’d felt settled in this century. I respect you, Tony, and I’m sorry that I didn’t make it clear before.” Tony says nothing to that, which is understandable because what can anyone say when someone you hate basically confesses their love for you so once again, they walk in silence.

Steve’s a little sick of all the silence.

“I respect you too, Cap. And if we don’t find anyone else, I’ll trust you to get us out of here. We’ll figure it out together.” Steve doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve that olive branch but he takes it gratefully.

“Together, huh?” he says, smiling.

“Yeah, together. Don’t have any time for arguments, we’ll do that after we save the world. And you better be prepared, I was pretty much a debate champion in school.”

“Hmm, I’m still Captain America, though and I’m pretty sure being mean to me is treason. Or well, not anymore, because technically, I committed treason.”

“Thought you stopped going by Captain America, Rogers.”

“That’s Captain Rogers to you, Stark.”

“Doctor Stark. I have like three PhDs. Why does nobody acknowledge that?”

“You’ve never corrected me on that before.”

“Well, first time for everything, huh. I’ve never been stuck in an orange dimension before. I might as well as hold on to the one thing that tells me I’m a genius in such a weird environment.”

“You’ll always be a genius, Tony. I trust you too. You’ll figure it out.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but suddenly his expression darkens as he looks at something behind Steve. Steve turns around, immediately reaching for his shield before realising that he didn’t have it anymore. He hears the high frequency sound of Tony’s repulsors getting ready to fire.

“Who are you?” comes Tony’s voice from the helmet. The girl holds up her hands in surrender but Steve spots the knives she’d slid behind her wrists into some kind of compartment. It would take the barest flick of her wrists for her to bring them out. She’s tall and she stands with the presence of not a soldier, exactly, but a killer. Oh, and she’s green, so there’s that.

“We don’t want to fight. I’m Steve Rogers, or Captain America. This is Tony Stark, or Iron Man. We’re from Earth.”

The tension in her body does not fade. Steve may not have a shield, but his body was weapon enough. He readies himself into a fighting stance, glancing at Tony. He really doesn’t want to fight but he will, if he has to. “My name is Gamora. You say you’re from Earth, Peter’s planet.”

“Yes, we’re the Aveng- wait, _you’re_ Gamora. I met your friends! And your boyfriend screwed up our mission because he thought you were dead. Wait, but if you’re dead, that means we’re dead which is, you know, fine I guess but-”

“Wait, you met Quill? And none of us are dead, not exactly”

“Peter Quill? Calls himself Starlord, loves Footloose for some reason, acts less mature than a 16 year old? And what do you mean we’re not really dead?”

“This is the Soul Stone Realm. You’re here because Thanos wasn’t completely successful.”

“Like the infinity stones? But he got all of them and he snapped, I felt my body go to dust,” Steve interjects, confused as heck. Who the fuck was Peter Quill?

“The thing is, for Thanos to get the soul stone, he had to sacrifice the thing he loved the most. I am his daughter. He sacrificed me and got the stone, but he doesn’t love me. Love is supposed to be selfless and I don’t think he’s ever loved anyone selflessly. So even though he got the stone, it didn’t work completely. Instead of killing us, it brought us here- to the Soul Realm.”

When Steve had woken up after his seventy year slumber, things had been overwhelming, the future had been overwhelming. He’d learnt about the Internet which seemed crazy and unbelievable at first but he’d found his way. Technology hadn’t been very difficult for him. And once he’d started living in the Avengers Tower, surrounded by Tony’s tech which was even more advanced than what normal people were accustomed to, he’d even begun to appreciate that aspect of the future. Of course, the aliens had been a little harder to process, but the fact that everyone seemed to have a hard time processing them was an odd sort of comfort. 

Steve had learnt in those first few years how to adjust to new things, how to adapt to the weirdest of situations, how to find his way around the most unknown of obstacles. But this, Steve does not know what to think of this, how to process something this monumental. This wasn’t just another country or even another planet, it was an entirely new _realm_. And if he feels this lost, he can’t imagine how difficult this must be for Tony: Tony, who had nightmares of exactly this happening; Tony, who hated not being in control, who despised working with too many variables and in unknown environments; Tony who had gone completely still beside him. 

Steve almost touches Tony, just then, if only to assure him that they’re not completely alone, that they’re together, that they’ll figure something out.

“Do you think there will be others, then? Any of our friends?” Tony asks, his tone flat and devoid of hope.

“There could be. I don’t think the two of you waking up together was coincidental. I don’t think the soul stone works with coincidences,” Gamora replies. Of course Tony would be looking for the others. _He doesn’t want to be around me for too long_ , Steve thinks, but he can’t bring himself to blame Tony.

“And do you think we’ll be able to get out?” he asks, ignoring the part about coincidences, because it scares him, in a way.

Gamora sighs. “I don’t know. It’s not like this has happened before.”

“Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try, anyway. Lead the way, Cap.”

* * *

Steve’s a lot more silent now. Before everything had happened, Steve used to speak to him a lot more. They used to do that all the time. He’d come into the workshop because it helped him focus and Tony could never ask him to leave. He’d sketch away and soon they had begun to _talk_. He’d find himself telling Steve about the most random of things and Steve would listen, sincere and interested. Sometimes he’d talk about life before the war, about the assholes who used to beat him up, about his best friend Bucky. His voice would go softer when he mentioned Bucky. Tony wonders how he hadn’t seen it coming.

Before DC, Tony had been happy for a while. He and Pepper had broken up and he’d known it would happen but it was still painful. But he’d shifted into the Avengers tower and he had friends and Steve was his friend and then Steve had kissed him. He’d been giddy with happiness.

And then three days later, Steve left for DC and came back completely changed. Of course Tony still loved him, but it was difficult to. Steve was obsessed with the search for Bucky now and he always had that shifty look in his eyes, a hesitation that hadn’t been there before. Tony had thought that he’d done something wrong, that he was selfish for being with Steve who could be happier without him. Tony used to wonder why he’d been growing distant. Then Siberia happened and he didn’t have to wonder anymore.

(”You knew,” he’d said. “For two years.” Steve hadn’t really been able to reply. Maybe he had, but Tony can’t remember anything after that. He doesn’t want to remember.)

He doesn’t hate Steve anymore, not that he ever really can. He just isn’t as angry as he had been at first. Knowing that those two years had been a lie did sting at first. But later, he realised that not all of it was a lie. There was one big lie but some of it was good, some of his memories were happy, some of their time had been real. 

But Steve’s silence bothers him for a reason he can’t really place. Maybe it’s just so out of place and Tony craves some normalcy right now. This, all of this, it terrifies him. Not knowing what to do terrifies him. But he’ll power through, he always does. And he’ll get them out, he has to.

“So, why’d you do it?” he finally asks.

“I wasn’t sure at first. And then I thought it would hurt you more if you knew. I was just making excuses for myself. Truth is, I was afraid of telling you. And I guess Captain America really was a coward in the end, huh,” Steve replies bitterly.

“You were right though. You were afraid that I’d react exactly the way I did.”

“No, I wasn’t. That’s not even why I was afraid. I was scared that you’d hate me, or leave me. I loved you. I was afraid of losing you. I was afraid because I know you’d have had a good reason to leave.”

“God, Steve, I would have gotten over it. I mean, I got over seeing the video right in front of me while simultaneously finding out that someone I trusted had lied to me and I’m more or less over it. Not that I’ve forgiven you. But I’m not angry anymore. It’s been a long two years.” Tony doesn’t know why he’s saying any of this. This is supposed to give him closure, technically. It’s supposed to feel cathartic. But it doesn’t, not really. Tony used to think of all the things he’d say to Steve if they met again. He’d wanted to hurt him, to yell. But now that Steve’s actually in front of him, he can’t bring himself to do any of it. 

Steve is obviously feeling guilty. He’s a lot quieter and he watches himself, like he could hurt Tony any minute. _Space,_ Tony realises. _He’s giving me space._

“I’m sorry, Tony. I’m not going to ask for your forgiveness, though because I haven’t earned it back yet. But when we get home, if you will let me, I’ll do my best to earn it.” Steve sounds so painfully earnest and it tears at something in Tony’s heart.

“Yeah, okay,” he says, smiling a little.

“Yeah,” Steve breathes out, uncertainty and hope flashing in his eyes. But he smiles back. 

Up ahead, Tony thinks he hears Gamora sigh.

Suddenly, he feels Steve go deathly still. He holds up a hand and mouths, _I can hear something._ He looks at Tony and Tony understands what he means to say. They’re taking the straightforward approach.

“Who’s there? We’re not here to hurt you,” Tony says, firing up his repulsors and holding them out just to be safe.

“Tony?” comes a familiar voice.

“Nat?” And then she comes out of wherever she and Clint were hiding and she embraces him.

“You’re alive. Or not. But you’re here,” she says.

“Wow, Agent Romanoff, you sound like you missed me,” Tony replies, but he hugs her back anyway. He did miss her. After all she is the only avenger shorter than him, not that he’d ever say that out loud. He’s still a little terrified of her.

“Steve, I’m so glad you’re okay,” she says next. Ah yes, they’d been in cahoots for that two year gap. But Tony hasn’t seen her in two years. And of course, there’s Clint.

“Birdbrain,” he says. “How was house arrest?” Okay, he doesn’t have the warmest of feelings towards Clint. He feels bad about the whole house arrest thing, of course, but he doubts Clint’s as friendly as Steve and Nat have been. They had been friends, once. Maybe, if they’d all stayed in the Avengers Tower, maybe they could have stayed friends. Maybe they could have stayed together.

( _Staying together is more important than how we stay together._

Tony had been so quick to dismiss the words; here he is now, paying the price of that dismissal)

“Maybe I should thank you for the vacation, Stark. Finally got to spend some time with my family.” Clint’s words are a little clipped, but there’s a tentative offer of friendship there, to put the past behind them.

Tony takes it.

“Wish I could say the same but you know, too busy making sure Spider-kid stays safe to catch a break.”

Tony wonders how Peter is doing. Did he reach Earth safely? Is his Aunt alright? And his friends- are they there? He had grown to love the kid in the past two years. He smiles a bit at the memory of Peter sending him voicemails, of Peter making him proud and Clint looks at him a little strangely. He quickly schools his expression into one of nonchalance.

“Have you guys seen anyone else?” Steve asks Natasha.

“We met Banner and Thor. And they said they met some others. They’re at the base. Who’s she?” Natasha answers, jerking her head towards Gamora, but Tony knew her well enough to recognise the suspicion in her eyes.

“I am Gamora, of the Guardians of the Galaxy. You say you know Thor?” Gamora is in a fighting stance, but without weapons drawn. Not that Tony is deceived- he knows that Gamora is more than she seems to be. She seems like she has good reflexes, like she’s quick on her feet.

“Yes. We’re the Avengers.” There is a sort of thrill in hearing Natasha say that. Tony sees Steve turn to Natasha, a barely perceptible movement, and smile softly. It had been so long since they’d all been together. There was so much still left unresolved but that confirmation that they are still the Avengers is a form of acceptance. Despite everything, they are always going to be the Avengers, Tony included. 

“Yes, Thor did mention. I would like to come with you to meet him at this base of yours.” Clint looks at Steve for a second, his face slightly tight, but it loosens at Steve’s nod. 

“Lead the way, Romanoff,” he says. Gamora follows Natasha and they get lost in conversation. Tony won’t lie- seeing the two women being so friendly is a little terrifying; they could probably take over the world if they wanted to. Hawkeye, as always, is lookout, his keen eyes scanning the environment for threats. 

And then there’s Steve and Tony again. Even in a room full of people, it always feels like it’s just the two of them.

(Tony thinks about his workshop, then. It has always been _his_ space. He’s always been at home there, surrounded by holograms and scrap metal. People (usually Pepper and Natasha, or Rhodey when he’s in town) could come by and drop off food, but he wouldn’t notice until hours later, when JARVIS would shut off all his work so that he didn’t have any choice but to eat. He had never been aware of anyone’s presence in his workshop, until Steve. When Steve would come down to draw, Tony could hear every scratch-scratch of pencil against paper, every tap-tap of Steve’s foot against the floor when he was frustrated. Nobody had entered Tony’s space and made it their own like that. Nobody had been welcome enough to. But even now, when Tony is just so angry at him, even when he isn’t welcome, Steve manages to find a way to be the brightest object in Tony’s surroundings, yet again.)

Steve looks surprisingly calm. Natasha is not a woman of many tells, but there is an air of quiet around her even as she talks to Gamora. Clint is trying hard not to jump at the sounds of their own footsteps, but in the silence, there isn’t much else that can be heard. They’re all thrown off by this realm. But Steve walks on and the tension in his gait seems to be more because of Tony’s presence than being in an entirely new world.

And that’s when it hits Tony. Steve’s been through this before. He’d woken up in an entirely new century, everyone he’d known gone. And there hadn’t been anyone to help him. There had only been SHIELD with its thick case files and ready missions. No wonder Steve had joined the Avengers. It had been a purpose. But after Loki, none of them had been there for him. Tony hadn’t been there for him. 

“Hey, Steve?” he asks, going a little closer.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry-” he begins. The words come out loud, clunky, even. But their companions seem to have turned a deaf ear to their conversation, in order to give them some privacy.

“I know, you don’t have to apologi-”

“No, not for Barnes. I mean, for him too, but not just that. When you woke up, I could have been a lot more…sensitive. I kinda get it now, waking up in an entirely new world. I should have understood and I could have-” he trails off, because Steve is staring at him. They’re still walking, so it’s a little disconcerting. Tony looks away, fixing his eyes on the orange sand in front of him. He is suddenly aware of the fact that he is still in his suit and that it is heavy and uncomfortable. He braces himself for whatever Steve has to say next.

“Tony,” and Steve’s voice is surprisingly soft. Tony looks up at him, then. “You helped so much. God, you have no idea, do you? You were never tip-toeing around me and gosh, you were always talking. You were so full of life, even when you hated me. Things seemed so blurry, but you’ve always been so sharp, so precise. And you, Tony, you gave me a _home_.”

Tony doesn’t really know what to say to that, but he smiles at Steve. He can feel Natasha’s gaze but he moves a little closer to Steve, till he can almost feel the body heat emanating from him. If he’d had the helmet on, he knows that FRIDAY would be informing him of his increased heart rate and dilated pupils. He ignores all those signs of rising adrenaline and walks with Steve, hoping that Steve can make out what Tony’s trying to say with that closeness. He thinks he can see Steve smile a bit, but he isn’t very sure.

And then he forgets all about it, because they’ve reached.

* * *

Tony taps at his arc reactor and the armour retracts. It’s beautiful, the way it retreats into him, like it’s liquid, or an extension of his own body. Steve watches Tony’s expression open up. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, but he hasn’t seen it in a long time. It isn’t even directed at him, but Tony really is beautiful when the lines in his face fade away a little, and the tension in his shoulders lessens.

(Before everything, Tony’s smiles were more free. He’d get to witness them every time he snuck into the workshop with takeout, or when he handed Tony another of his doodles of Tony and DUM-E, or even those eyes-closed sleepy smiles that appeared when Steve tucked Tony into bed with a forehead kiss. Steve doesn’t think he’ll ever be the cause for one of those smiles again.)

“Rhodey!” Tony exclaims, nearly barrelling into his best friend and holding onto him. Steve misses Bucky, then and it hurts. He hates himself for thinking it, but he almost wishes that Bucky had been dusted, just so he wouldn’t feel so alone right now. Because once again, there he is, Steve Rogers, the man out of time, without any family left. He knows that he had overcome it the first time, finding a family in the Avengers, falling in love in a way that didn’t make him ache for Peggy anymore. But he’d lost half of that. And then he’d found his best friend only to lose him too. He’s sick of losing people, sick of screwing up.

He notices Pepper Potts looking at him curiously. Pepper was the Stark Industries CEO and is one of Tony’s closest friends. The jealousy and sadness suddenly disappears. He’s glad that Tony had Pepper and Rhodey, that he has friends who would choose him, who wouldn’t lie to him. If Steve had to go back to two years ago, knowing the outcome of choosing Bucky, he knows his choice. He would still choose Bucky, the way Tony would have chosen Rhodey if their situations had been reversed. But he would have told Tony the truth this time. And he still despised the Accords, but he could have found a way to get them amended, and to get Bucky out without arousing too much suspicion. He would have found a way to be there for Tony, to be ready when Thanos came. He would have stayed. But there isn’t time to waste on stupid fantasies and would-haves.

“Captain.” Pepper’s voice is curt, her gaze stern. 

Steve isn’t sure what to say. Heck, he doesn’t even know whether he can still call her ‘Pepper’ or whether he should say Miss Potts. 

“Ma’am,” he finally settles on, trying not to cower under the intensity of her gaze.

“Have you spoken to him at all?” She doesn’t really seem to be that angry- more calculating.

“We uh, we woke up beside each other. We’ve talked.” 

“Good. Because there’s someone who wants to see both of you.” Steve frowns, confused. 

“Tony?”

“Yes, Pepper, darling?” Tony looks up from his and Jim’s conversation.

“Someone wants to see you and Steve.” He’s trying very hard not to look at Tony, but he’s studied that expressive face so many times that he can’t help but notice the flash of alarm and then the mask of confusion that covers his features.

“Why would someone want to talk to us? Or rather, who?” Tony asks. Steve had been wondering the same thing, but he’d been a little too afraid of Pepper to ask.

“If I tell you, you may not be very eager to go. But this needs to be done. Please try not to freak out.” She may be answering Tony’s question, but she’s clearly talking to Steve. He’s even more confused now. He isn’t that irrational, is he? Does Pepper think he’s rash? “He’s waiting inside.”

Inside meant into a makeshift tent and Steve wonders what material they used to make it. He almost asks, but Pepper’s voice had sounded quite urgent. He remembers that Bruce and Thor would be here somewhere too, and he wants to meet them, but whoever this person is, they must be important. He’s sure that Tony also wants to meet Bruce because the two of them had been close before Banner had taken off. 

(When the phone had finally rung, he’d been terrified. He’d heard Tony’s voice so many times over the past two years, but all those instances were from his various interviews and press conferences. It wasn’t the real Tony, but a cold, stoic facade. When it was Bruce’s panicked voice that came through, a part of him was almost disappointed before he’d put all those personal feelings aside and attempted to focus on the crisis.)

That’s when he saw the person inside. They weren’t moving, but it didn’t seem like it was an Avenger, otherwise they would have said something. Besides, none of the Avengers would wear that kind of depressing black hood. 

“Captain.” 

Steve freezes. He knows that voice, could recognise it anywhere. He knows what he’d find behind that hood, now. Gaunt cheekbones, hollow eyes with a manic glint and smooth, crimson-red skin. He tenses up immediately, reaching for his shield before realising that it isn’t there, not that it matters too much. His body is a weapon itself. He readies himself into a defensive pose as Tony glances at him questioningly, but calls the armour to himself all the same.

“Cap? Are you alright?” Tony’s voice is soft, cautious. Steve nods.

“Red Skull. What are you doing here?” he asks. Johann Schmidt takes the hood off and Tony audibly gasps.

“Forgive me for deceiving you, Captain, but this is an important matter. Do you really think the ones out there would send you in here like this if they had not been convinced that I pose no threat to you?”

“I saw you die. I saw you die more than _seventy_ years ago.”

“Alas, the Tesseract did not kill me. It sent me to Vormir, to guard the soul stone, to guide others to a treasure that I cannot possess. And when Thanos snapped, forgetting that the Soul Stone was flawed because of the impurity of his sacrifice, I was brought here, to the Soul Realm, once again as a guide.”

“And why should we trust you?” Tony asks, his voice skeptical.

“Because spending seventy years on an alien planet is more than enough time to have a change of heart, to rethink my life choices, for I now do not have any remaining.”

“See, for some reason, I don’t really believe you. That sounds a lot like something you’d say to appease our good Captain.”

“Well, it’s the truth. Besides, it is my duty to guide people to the Soul Stone. The bearer of the Soul Stone does not deserve it. My duty now is to lead someone deserving to the Soul Stone, someone who I believe will return it to its rightful place on Vormir.”

“And you chose _me_ for it?”

“Well, you are a good man, Captain, as Dr. Erskine had said. Besides, this could save me as well. Perhaps I will finally be at peace after this for I will have done my duty.”

“You’d die?” Tony asks, his tone curious.

“It will be a relief after all the solitude.”

“Okay, clear up one more thing for me. Why am I here?” Tony asks.

“Ah, yes. You and the Captain have something called a soulbond.”

“I’m sorry, a what, now?” Tony sounds bewildered. Steve doesn’t know what to think.

“Not everyone has a soulbond, of course. Very few do, in fact. But strong soulbonds get magnified in the Soul Stone Realm and the one the two of you share is one of the strongest. It is no coincidence that you woke up beside each other. Even the rest of your teammates share a certain bond which is why you have all woken up in the same district. Your soulbond, now magnified, will help you find a way out of the Realm.”

“And give me one good reason to believe any of that,” Tony says, his eyes wide and terrified, even.

“Captain America surviving as long as he did, being found when he was - these were no coincidences. The universe has fought for the two of you to be together. And now, it is time to use that. I believe that there is a way for the two of you to return home.”

“Where do we begin to look?” Steve asks, finally speaking up.

* * *

It really is unfair that Steve seems so unaffected. He hadn’t said a word throughout the entire soulmate thing and now he’s standing there, stoic, ready. He’s always ready for the next mission, the next war, the next big thing. He’s always so firmly planted, always right where he’s supposed to be.

But Tony isn’t like that. Steve clearly doesn’t care about them being soulmates, and that’s fine by Tony, it really is. He just wishes he could do that- the not caring. But he cares. He cares about the fact that out of all the people he’d seen in love, it had been him and Steve who were soulmates, that even after the universe had fought for them to meet, they had screwed it up. And perhaps, this explained things in a way. Steve had never truly loved Tony. It was the soulmate thing, the soulbond or whatever. Clearly he had just felt some kind of pull towards Tony, had never actually fallen in love with him. And now that Steve knew it, there was no way he wouldn’t completely drop Tony and move on. After they saved the world, Steve wouldn’t care about him anymore. It’s ironic how knowing that something you did wasn’t a choice, but fate, gives you the freedom to change your decision.

Tony doesn’t believe in fate or destiny. But if the Red Skull was right, then they exist and they are the sole reason he ever had any part of Steve. 

“We need to look within ourselves? What does that even mean?” Steve asks, breaking Tony’s thought process.

“I don’t know but if it’s soulmate related I guess it has to be about both of us,” Tony replies casually, but he notices Steve’s flinch at the word, ‘soulmate’. Perhaps Steve does have a few feelings about this. “Look, I know that this is a very hard situation but we can’t let the past come in our way. We have to get out of this place. We’re getting a second chance at Thanos and we owe it to the world to take that chance. I know you hate the idea of being soulmates with me, but you need to suck it up for now, okay?” Tony’s a little angry at Steve, or at himself for how different their views on the soulbond are, but he keeps his tone warm and kind. Even if all this hurts, Steve is his friend, and he is clearly not dealing with the news as well as Tony thought he was.

“I don’t hate the idea of being soulmates with you, Tony.” 

“You- what?” Tony hadn’t expected him to say that. 

“I’m not angry or sad because you’re my soulmate.”

“No, you clearly are. You literally flinched when I said soulmate. And look, you’re doing it again. And you refuse to look at me. Look me in the eyes, Rogers and tell me you don’t hate us being soulmates because I don’t think I believe you.”

And then Steve looks up. 

He doesn’t look angry.

(He had, when Tony had created Ultron- wait, no, that hadn’t been anger, that had been disappointment. Steve had never been angry at Tony, not really, not truly.)

He doesn’t look sad, either, not exactly.

(He’d been sad when he’d woken up, first, all out of place in the new century.Tony had once caught the lines of his face morphing into sorrow when the search for Bucky had met another dead end and he had kissed it away, if only for a night.)

He looks, well, he looks pained.

(Tony has had this look of Steve’s directed at him once, before, in Siberia, in the cold when Tony had asked if Steve had known. After that, Tony often wondered whether it was that same look of misery that had graced his features when he’d left, when he’d left Tony, or whether he’d been indifferent. Tony had never imagined he’d see such a pained look on Steve’s face ever again, so he’d committed it to memory in his bitterness, back then. With all the pain that Steve had caused him, it was a comfort to know that Steve hadn’t escaped unscathed.)

Now, seeing that look again, Tony isn’t thinking of Siberia. He hasn’t in a while. No, all he’s thinking is that he never wants Steve to look that helplessly miserable again.

“Hey,” he says softly, taking Steve’s hand. Steve shuddered but leaned into the touch. “What’s wrong, Steve?”

Steve takes a deep breath, and Tony can feel his chest rise and fall. Proximity. They haven’t been this close to each other in a while.

“I can’t believe I fucked us up,” Steve says, voice soft. “Fate, destiny, the universe, soulbonds- all that undone by my selfishness? God, Tony, who fucks up something that the universe has fought for?”

“Steve? Hey, look at me.” They shift towards each other, an infinitesimal movement, an involuntary action. “You should have told me, yes. But you don’t have to beat yourself up about it. I could have been better about the Accords and Bucky, too. We both made mistakes, okay? And the thing is, we’ve forgiven each other for them. I forgive you, Steve. I forgive you because I know you’re sorry. And I don’t think there’s any point in getting stuck on the past. So we move on. Together.”

“Okay,” Steve replies. “Okay, yeah, let’s do this.”

“Right. Let’s look for this soulbond thing of ours and then get out of here.”

“Thank you, Tony.” Steve looks so sincere, Tony can’t move, can’t speak. He wants to kiss Steve. He looks beautiful like this and for a while, it’s like nothing has changed.

But things have changed. The Accords, Siberia- they can’t be erased. That doesn’t mean things can’t change again. Things are already changing, but this time, they’re changing for the better. 

“Always.” 

(Always, for Steve.)

* * *

“I have no idea how to do this. I’m a genius, and I don’t have a clue about this. What even is the scientific explanation for soulbonds? I mean, magic is just science we don’t know how to explain yet, but is this even magic? Should we ask Thor? Do Asgardians have a soulbond concept?”

Steve smiles a little at that. Tony has always been adorable when he rambles.

“Hey, slow down,” he says. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

“Cap, I know you’re great at pep talks, but this is way out of my depth. I don’t even have my lab or JARVIS-”

“We. As in you and me. You’re not alone. And you didn’t have JARVIS or your lab when you built Iron Man. Focus on the things that you do know and then we’ll go from there, okay?”

“I know that science doesn’t work in this realm the way it does on Earth. I know that because JARVIS isn’t working. But I know that independent energy sources are, because most of my suit is still functional and so is the arc reactor. But I don’t know what kind of energy soulbond energy is, or how to harness it. I don’t even know if it _can _be harnessed and-”__

__“Well, you know what I know? I know you. I know that I trust you completely. I know that if anyone can figure this out, it’s going to be Anthony Edward Stark, because he’s smart and he’s resourceful. I know,” his voice breaks a little, “I know this because I love you.”_ _

__“You can’t love me,” Tony whispers. Steve realises they’re close, so close, that if he had been even half a millimeter away, he could have missed the words. He craves more, he always has._ _

__“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have sprung this on you so suddenly. Tony, I-”_ _

__“No, no, it’s okay. I understand. Special circumstances making you say things you don’t mean. It’s completely natural,” Tony replies without meeting Steve’s gaze. He moves back and inhales deeply, as if Steve’s very presence was suffocating._ _

__“Tony, of course I meant it. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable, but I meant every word, especially those three.” He wants to move closer, but Tony’s already withdrawing from him._ _

__“You can’t have meant it. Steve, it’s been two years. You’re just confused. This will fade in time.”_ _

__“I don’t think I ever stopped loving you. I loved you five years ago, I loved you two years ago, and I love you now. If there is one thing that has always been clear to me ever since i woke up in a new century, it’s been you- whether I found you insufferable, or loved you. You’ve always been clear to me. Why can’t I love you, Tony?”_ _

__“I’m not supposed to get a happy ending, Steve. Don’t you get it? I’ve been a terrible person for most of my life. I’ve surrounded myself with good people, like you and Rhodey and Pepper, but I’ve never learned how to be one myself. In the end, I don’t get the satisfaction of retiring peacefully like I’d wanted to after The Mandarin. I’ve always known I would die as Iron Man. You don’t get to love me; you don’t get to tempt me with a future like that. Damn it, Steve, I’ve loved you for years, but you can’t-”_ _

__“Tony, you’re one of the best people I know. And I’m not always a good person. I lied to you- that’s not what a good person does. But you forgave me. And there’s nobody else who works as hard as you do to make up for past mistakes. God, Tony, you always strive to be a better person. And I’m not going to let you die in the armour. We’re getting out of this. We’ll defeat Thanos and then we can have that peaceful future you spoke of. If you’ll have me.”_ _

__“You promise?”_ _

__“I promise.”_ _

__“And you love me?”_ _

__“Always.”_ _

__“I love you too, Steve.” Tony looks up, and there’s tears running down his cheeks, but he’s smiling. He shifts a little closer and Steve lifts his hand, wiping away the tears. Tony laugh-sobs and leans into the touch._ _

__“Tony?”_ _

__“Hmm?”_ _

__“I really want to kiss you, if that’s okay.” They’re whispering again, and they’re so close; there’s barely any distance between them._ _

__Tony leans up, closing it._ _

* * *

__(“Lord Anthony, we’ll get caught. You know this is forbidden,” a blonde knight chastises._ _

__“Steven, it’s alright. The battle was long, and I’ve missed you so. Besides, nobody can see or hear us. We’re safe here.”_ _

__“Maybe for now. But later-”_ _

__“Hush, let’s just enjoy this solitude, okay? No complaining. Tell me how the past month has been treating you,” Tony said as he mouths at the knight’s jaw- at Steve’s jaw. Because the two boys looking at each other with such fondness are Steve and Tony._ _

__“I missed you too, Tony.”)_ _

* * *

__(“Antonio, you must sit still if you want me to paint you.”_ _

__“Oh, Steven, we both know you were the one who requested me to pose for you- nude, at that.”_ _

__“Hmm, I’m not sure what you are implying here.”_ _

__“Steve, you know full well where this night is going.”_ _

__The artist pauses, looking up from his painting._ _

__“Will you stay after we finish?” he asks, but his nonchalant voice cannot mask how much he cares._ _

__“Of course I will,” his muse replies, smiling at his lover fondly.)_ _

* * *

__(“Sheriff, you know I’m not that drunk tonight. I can get home safely.”_ _

__“Maybe I’m just here for the pleasure of your company, Stark.”_ _

__“Those are dangerous words, Steve.”_ _

__“I’m thinking you’re worth a little bit of danger.”_ _

__They shift closer, till they’re nearly touching.)_ _

* * *

__There is a voice, calling to him, beckoning, tempting. It is telling him something, something about a sacrifice._ _

___Steve,_ it calls out to him. _Steven Grant Rogers.__ _

___Steven, son of Sarah._ _ _

__“Steve? Steve, wake up!” _Tony._ “Steve, sweetheart, it’s me. It’s Tony. Are you alright?”_ _

__Steve isn't alright. He knows what the voice had been asking of him._ _

__“Tony, I-”_ _

__“Shh, baby, I know.”_ _

__They’re leaning into each other and Steve extends his arms around Tony’s slim frame. He holds Tony to his chest, but it feels like he’s the one being held._ _

__“We’ve had lifetimes together,” he states, his voice muffled against Tony’s shoulder. “We’ve always found each other, always loved each other. Was it all for this? Fate? Destiny?”_ _

__“Steve, you know I don’t believe in destiny. But if you’re mine, maybe it isn’t that bad after all.” Steve can feel Tony smiling. This is Tony Stark vulnerable_ _

__“We can’t do it anymore. Tony, we have to give it up.” Tony detaches himself from Steve then, but takes Steve’s hand in his own and traces patterns on the back of his palm._ _

__“Steve, this isn’t a bad thing. Now that we know this is real, we also know we can get out. This isn’t a dead end. Steve, we can figure it out.”_ _

__“I know what we have to do. Tony, we have to give up the bond if we want to get out. The soul stone will only come to us if we sacrifice the bond.”_ _

__“Okay, that’s not wonderful, but we’ll cope, right? What would that mean for us?”_ _

__“Tony, if we give up the soul bond, we won’t find each other in the next life. And if this whole soulmates thing is destiny, how much of our lives has even been real?”_ _

__“Steve, look at me, darling. You love me. Real or not?”_ _

__“Tony, what I feel for you is stronger than fate and destiny. Of course that’s real,” Steve answers, a little confused._ _

__“Well, I love you too. Breaking the soul bond can’t break what we have. We fell in love before we knew about this, lifetimes before we knew about it. Steve, I don’t care about what happens in the future. I care about us, now, in this life. And if this is the only way we get to live our lives, then so be it.”_ _

__“Thought you were a futurist, Shellhead.”_ _

__“Steve, I mean it, okay? Remember that future you promised us? It’s time to get it. Do you know how we need to give up this thing?”_ _

__“I’m not sure. I think this place responds to our emotions. It’s a living entity. I think it can tell when we’re ready.”_ _

__“How do we tell when we’re ready?”_ _

__“I think I’m ready. I love you, Tony. I love you because I choose to love you, not because of a soul bond. In another life, if we meet, I know I will choose to love you again, over and over.”_ _

__“Hmm, I don’t think I can top that speech. But you know I love you.”_ _

__Steve is the one who leans in, this time._ _

__And then Steve is back to the place where he was before._ _

___Are you ready?_ the voice asks him._ _

___Yes,_ he thinks he replies._ _

__There is something in his palm, as light as a paperweight, but it seems to pulsate with a sort of energy. Steve closes his fingers around it. He looks for Tony, thinks of his eyes and his smile, of his love and kindness, of the armour and the way he fights._ _

___Tony!_ he calls out._ _

___Steve?_ _ _

___Tony, take my hand._ Steve can’t really see anything, but he feels a familiar weight in the palm of his other hand, long, calloused fingers intertwined with his own. He thinks of home, of the Avengers tower, of Tony’s workshop, of Wakanda. He thinks of mud, of earth and trees. He thinks of skies that shine blue, nights with a silver moon. He thinks of shooting stars and he makes a wish._ _

* * *

__When Tony opens his eyes, he’s looking up at one of the most technologically advanced buildings he has ever seen. _Wakanda,_ he realises._ _

__He nearly loses his balance at the sudden displacement, but strong hands stop his fall. He looks up at Steve and smiles, kisses him on the cheek._ _

__Steve opens his palm and there it is- the soul stone. Tony feels a thrill of excitement. All six stones could bring back everyone else and defeat Thanos._ _

__It’s been two years and god knows how long they spent in that soul realm, but they’re home now, beside each other. And it’s time for them to save this home and rebuild. It’s time for them to fight for a future whispered about in a foreign universe. It’s time for them to get their happy ending- together._ _

**Author's Note:**

> So, I didn't write a whole Endgame fix-it thing. I like to think that they invent time travel but it goes significantly better and they bring everyone back OR when Tony snaps, the other Avengers share the energy and they all live OR Thor snaps, leaves Thanos alive for Nebula to kill. Either way, I imagine that they have the happy ending Steve promised.
> 
> Alternate ending suggested by a friend when I ranted to him about a plot point I was stuck on: Tony transforms into a tiger and fucks things up and they're all saved. 
> 
> Anywho, you can find me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/thesurielbitch)
> 
> Drop a kudo or a comment if you liked it!!


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